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Archive for November 25th, 2012

Holyrood wind farm inquiry an ‘unbelievable whitewash’

Simon Johnson — Scottish Political Editor — The Telegraph — November 24, 2012

A Holyrood inquiry into Alex Salmond’s wind energy targets has been dismissed as an “unbelievable whitewash” after it refused to accept the rapid spread of turbines is damaging the countryside.

The SNP-dominated economy, energy and tourism committee instead blamed local councils for snarling up wind farm applications in the planning system and called for the rules to be loosened to allow larger developments.

In a coded warning to local authorities concerned they have reached saturation point for turbines, they said Mr Salmond’s ambitious green energy targets “should translate into delivery at local level”.

They claimed to have found no “significant evidence” that turbines are damaging Scotland’s tourism industry or that independence was creating uncertainty for renewables investors.

This was despite Visit Scotland, the national tourism agency, admitting the sight of wind farms could harm the industry and SSE, formerly Scottish and Southern Energy, stating that the prospect of separation was affecting its spending plans.

Although the committee’s 83-page report outlined the views of opponents and sceptics, none were deemed to be so significant as to prevent the delivery of Mr Salmond’s ambitious green energy targets.

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‘Twas the Night Before Christmas’ — (Wind turbine edition)

By Wayne McGrath

‘Twas the night before Christmas, the wind was still up

The turbine was turning, and everyone ducked.

The ear plugs were in and the stereo on high

In hopes that the turbine would just simply die.

The children were protected wearing helmets to bed

While visions of high blood pressure danced in our heads.

And Mama with here heart pills, and I with my wrap

Had just settled our brains, thinking enough of this crap.

When out in the night, there arose such a clatter

I shook in my bed, knowing full-well the matter

I crawled to the window, so tired of this mess

Wished they forego the turbine and just confess.

The Moon peeked out ‘round the whirling snow,

Gave the glint of trouble to all homes below.

When, what to my tired eyes should appear

A spinning turbine flew right by my ear.

With a flash of good luck, I managed to duck

I knew in a moment that this really sucked.

More rapid than eagles the blades did spin,

They whooshed and whirred like a big jet plane.

A voice bellowed with spittle and spray,

“Now Slicer! Now Dicer!

Now, Windsheer and Flicker!

On Sicko! On, Victim!

On Grinder and Whoosher!

To the bottom of the tree!

To the peak of the house!

Now slash away! Slash away!

Slash away all!

“Lay off, its Christmas, your bullying is sad,

Go back to the city and make others mad.”

But up to the housetop,the turbine, it flew,

With blades laced with sickness and less money for you!

And guess who rides saddle, “Buzz, Ken, is that you?”

With a laugh from these devils, I heard the crash,

Ken and Buzz yelled, “I want your cash!”

As I drew in my head and cursed at these clowns,

I thought, “My Gosh”, get STOP to come ‘round.

They were dressed in Armani, with Dacks on their feet,

With slick greasy hands, they looked like real creeps.

“Sign this health waiver you silly fool!

Enough of this sick stuff, it just ain’t cool!”

Their eyes were black like a shark on a spit,

Their cheeks were drawn like they sucked on a pit.

Their sneering lips were tucked in a scowl

If Harley saw this, she would surely growl.

A chunk of black coal held tight in their teeth,

The stench of free money circled the ‘beef’.

Their coat jackets stretched and “whoa” they were smelly,

Tut, tut, CAW leaders, you both have beer bellies.

I wished they were nice in spite of myself,

I’m sure we could be friends in possibly someplace else.

A look in their eyes makes me turn my head,

It was obvious, though, I had something to dread.

They spoke no more words but stood and stared,

I suppose this is the union way so I just glared.

And pointing that finger in a nasty pose,

Ken yelled, “See ya later, small-town schmo.”

I saw the bright lights appear from one side,

Yes yes good people, STOP has arrived.

The huge commanding leader stepped off his bike,

The huge halo lessened my fright.

“The fight is a tough one but we can’t miss,

This town needs help and shan’t be dissed.

Our roots are deep and this town has class,

So these carpetbaggers can kiss my ass.”

As he throttled his hog and grabbed the road

I thought I would join ranks to lessen the load.

Just like the jolly old man still says,

“Merry Christmas!” from a rather BIG man.